The Other Side of FOMO

In a world as busy as ours, inevitably, we are constantly missing out on something. Our daily lives are consumed by work, school, relationships, current events, trends, pop culture, and an endless array of other things. It is not feasible to assume that there is an effective way to be present in every moment. However, in a culture consumed by social platforms that captures our every move, being human can sometimes feel like we’re failing. Because of our fast-paced culture, the term FOMO has come to fruition.

Fear of missing out is associated with the anxiety that others may be having fun while you are not available. FOMO can manifest itself in numerous ways, especially in our relationships. Having to miss out on a social gathering because of an external factor can lead to this exact feeling. Still, more extreme cases of the FOMO phenomenon arise when we are explicitly left out. Whether it’s a group chat or a group outing, being purposefully excluded cuts deep— specifically when it is done by those you consider close friends.

Enter JOMO, a phrase coined to shift the perspective when we find ourselves in situations of being left out. The Joy of Missing Out aims to examine the times you are dealing with FOMO and approach them through a lens of understanding. Barb Schmidt, author and meditation teacher, tells us this about JOMO: “Be comfortable in your own skin. Know who you are. Understand deeply that what people do is never a reflection of you and is always their perception of life. You are not for everyone, and they are not always for you. When you are not included, invited, or considered, whisper to yourself ‘Thank you for the space necessary in my life for the people that matter most to me. I am blessed.’”

When we look at the times in our lives when we have felt the sting of exclusion, switching up our viewpoint can drastically alter a scenario and the narrative we believe about ourselves. Instead of telling ourselves there is something wrong with us, we must instead approach these moments with the truth that not everyone or every moment is for us. Learning to be okay with not being invited shifts the power back to us. It reminds us of the blessing that is found when we recognize who wishes to create a space for us in their lives, and who does not. This acknowledgment then allows us to create more room for the people that value our presence in their lives.

As difficult as it is to remind ourselves of these truths in the moment, the more we acknowledge it, the taller we grow. Psychology Today lists these strategies to aid our JOMO journey:

· Be intentional with your time

· Allow yourself to live in the present

· Embrace time away from technology

· Add “No” to your vocabulary

· Experience life outside of social media

· Slow down

It is better to be alone than in bad company. JOMO tells us that joy is found, even when we feel we are missing out. This essence is best captured in a poem written by artist Michael Leunig, titled “JOMO (Joy of Missing Out).” The poem reads,

“Oh, the joy of missing out.

When the world begins to shout

And rush towards that shining thing;

The latest bit of mental bling–

Trying to have it, see it, do it,

You simply know you won't go through it;

The anxious clamoring and need

This restless hungry thing to feed.

Instead, you feel the loveliness;

The pleasure of your emptiness.

You spurn the treasure on the shelf

In favor of your peaceful self;