What is Real?

A Sidenote On The Dwindling Art of Human Conversation

Article by Angie Perry, Photos by Mackenzie Miller

This question has been looming over my head for ages now. What is real? What happened to raw human connection?

I am the kind of person who thrives on real relationships, and I’m sure plenty of you can relate. I like talking, I like connecting, and I like being intellectually met and challenged. Nowadays, with the prevalence of social media and this seemingly inherent need for our generation to be constantly posting their lives for everyone to see, relationships (both romantic and platonic) have a tendency to become a series of cop-outs. You go out to eat, but you don't look up from your phone unless to share a funny photo. You go for a night out and have a mediocre time, but those perfectly posed Snapchat photos say otherwise. Rather than living in the moment, we subconsciously fall into this routine of simply collecting the evidence of moments.

Don't mistake evidence for memories.

Memories are made from real moments. Heart-to-heart, eyes locked, nothing between you but the sound of each others' voices and, if you’re anything like me, a piping hot cup of coffee (tea or juice is acceptable too, if that’s what you’re into). Are we so virtually inclined to where we can't carry a conversation without once looking at a screen? Without having to constantly fight the urge to open up our lockscreens and check for notifications? Without once mentioning so and so’s social media post or the latest viral Twitter video?

Are we just scared of connection?

Of course we are. But that's what makes it so exciting. I'll admit that I am guilty of sometimes keeping things to myself and letting thoughts churn in my brain until my head starts to sizzle—but there's nothing like the feeling of letting it all out, laying everything on the table. When you find someone who knows not only how to listen, but how to understand—that's when you will feel the pure bliss of being so wholly present with a person or group of people who are on your same wavelength.

Connections are scary. Relationships are scary. Whether it's a friend or something more—when it's real, you know. And when you know, you will be constantly excited and eager for more of that sincere and intense connection. Nothing stimulates a person more than fulfilling conversation and blooming connections. Nothing compares to the feeling of a full heart and mind. Think about some of the greatest conversations you’ve had in your life—and when I say greatest, I mean it in the truest sense of the word. Hours pass as you lose track of time, words come out of your mouth quicker than you can process them in your head, but you feel so comfortable that you stop second guessing yourself. You forget you have a phone altogether, and leave afterwards with that warm and fuzzy feeling feeling of fulfillment that is rare to come by nowadays.

You don't need set entertainment or petty distractions. Two people, two minds, and two hearts is enough. Raw conversation is a beautiful thing. Feelings are meant to be discussed, theories to be argued, ideas to be explained, and dreams to be accounted for.

Talk, share, connect, and feel. We are intellectual and social creatures and we deserve to live our lives as such.