The Deal With Setting Relationship Expectations

Relationships are some of the most transformative catalysts impacting our lives and experiences. Those people advise us through obstacles, uplift us during tough times, and remain our number one cheerleaders. Though relationships with parents, friends, and significant others are rewarding and provide a lot of support, we often face difficulties with miscommunication, respect, and uncertainty.

Those issues may seem daunting at first, but anything worth keeping requires hard work and perseverance. We have a few suggestions on how to handle your relationships and create open communication.

Have you ever been in a situation where your parent disrespected your space? Or your best friend was upset at you because you had other responsibilities instead of going on a Starbucks run? Well, it’s a common experience.

Being in a relationship with anyone requires mutual respect and understanding. Laying out on the table what you are wanting and needing from someone is important to creating a healthy foundation in a relationship. Examples of this include communicating to your parents you need privacy during your Zoom classes in order to pay attention in class or explaining to your friend that you need a couple of days notice in order to go on a lunch date.

Setting those expectations and boundaries are essential to preventing tension and hurt feelings in the long run.

You’ve explained your expectations, but your person is still crossing the line. How do you handle this?

Give them a reminder of what is upsetting you. We suggest using the “When you did this, it made me feel this way” phrasing to communicate effectively. For example, “When you did not invite me to run errands with you, it made me feel left out.” By expressing your feelings, it opens the door to honest conversation.

If verbally communicating is difficult for you, write a text, letter, or note expressing your feelings. Make sure to include a way they can contact you back so you can continue the conversation.
Remember, communication is key in any relationship. Once you create a space for honest conversation, your relationships will be able to grow and prosper through any circumstance. You’ll be surprised how much can be accomplished by talking it out.

Written by Madison Corley & Lani Pieper, Design by Lindsey Rogers, Media by Kayla Rudy