i can see you,

you know.

i can hear you.

feel you…

you are everywhere, at once.

in my present.

in my future.

how can this be?

is it a fantasy that i see?

a wild image i have conjured up?

do you exist in this time?

in my world?

i hear you in the early hours of the morning,

at dawn’s first light.

when the birds begin to sing,

and the animals awake from their slumber.

the air around us is still,

the only sound the rustle of wind outside.

i hear you then,

with deep and steady breaths.

warmth seeps through from your body next to mine,

the feel of strong arms wrapped around me.

a featherlight touch of your lips along the small of my neck.

you are there, are you not?

i turn to reach out,

to touch the face of the man i love.

you are smiling,

as if you know the power you hold over me.

tracing your skin,

the shape of your body,

every contour, every muscle.

are you not real?

but then i hear you.

within twisted limbs and sheets,

in between whispers and laughs,

the sound of your voice, rich and smooth

it is as if time has slowed.

when I look into your eyes,

i see myself laid bare.

you are everything that exists to me.

i move to hold you,

to encapture the very essence of you.

i wish never to part from this moment,

to remain as we are.

But my hands,

instead of meeting skin,

fall flat against the pillow beside mine.

you are not here.

i begin the hunt,

with the hope that the day has not robbed me of you.

you’re not gone.

you can’t be gone.

with each breath,

reality begins to set.

i rip the blankets from the bed.

as the truth is revealed.

i am alone.

there is no trace of you that lingers

in the silence of the room.

the eerie stillness that emerges.

where are you?

where did you go?

come back to me.

do not leave me.

it was all a dream,

a sick twisted nightmare.

you were taken from me,

snatched right before my eyes.

from darkness,

you blossomed,

but your beauty,

is fleeting.

i embrace you at night,

when the moon is high in the sky,

and the stars dance above the earth.

you are with me then.

i close my eyes,

allowing myself this one thing.

to dream of you.

patiently waiting for your return.

it is believed that humans once were two bodies in one.

that Zeus grew fearful of such a strength,

so he separated them

and watched as they spent their entire existence trying to find one another again.

is this our story?

one of waiting.

of searching.

of solitude.

as foolish as it may sound,

i know i can see you.

glimpses of a soul akin to my own,

the silhouette of a man i know all too well.

i can hear you in the still of every night.

through the rushing sound of the evening air.

within the folds of cascading melodies,

and passionate kisses.

most of all,

i can feel you.

through subtle motions,

and a dangerous touch.

your presence is there.

beside me.

around me.

you are everywhere, but you are not.

the day will come,

when you will return to me.

i will bask in you.

sink further into your soul.

until then,

i will continue to look,

to listen,

so we may be once more.

Written by Chloé Golden, Photography: Kenley Becker, Social Media: Eliana Ho

To the Man Who Haunts Me,