Why Personal Success Isn't Everything You Think It Is
The Hustle Can Wait
Personal Essay by Ashley Falk, Photos by Laura Ashley Hartline
One of my favorite quotes is: “It’s not about where you start, it’s about where you end up.”
Pursuing goals and accomplishing them makes us feel like we have meaning in our lives, and we should never give up on our dreams. However, when chasing those dreams comes between meaningful relationships, your self-esteem, or mental health, it is important to take a step back and really think about what success means.
“Letting your contentment depend on your material success never works.”
Growing up, I was constantly told that “knowledge is power,” and how important it is to be independent through the power that it gives you. My parents didn’t want me to play sports; instead, they wanted me to go to tutoring, join academic clubs, and stay focused on my school work. I went my whole life trying to get the grades that would make my parents proud. I was never resentful because, at the same time, I was doing it for myself. I loved the feeling I would get when I achieved something that earned some type of recognition. To me, success is not the praise itself; it’s when I am able to take an experience—in or outside of the classroom— learn from it, and use it to grow.
That being said, there have been times while working towards goals when I sacrificed other things in my life that are just as important to me. Wanting to go to law school, I put pressure on myself to earn and maintain a 4.0 every semester. I would end up forgetting to call my mom because I was busy doing a group project. I would skip going out with friends because I’d rather stay home and finish reading that one chapter. I wouldn’t watch that movie I’ve been waiting to see because I had to figure out that finance homework question. Although these might seem like simple sacrifices, they add up when they occur on a daily basis.
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It has taken me time to realize that your external accomplishments are not indicative of your happiness. Letting your contentment depend on your material success never works. Instead, it leads to a continuous loop of sacrifices because the goal post will always be changing. This turns into the constant feeling of worry because we are unknowingly running a race that we can never win. No matter what age you are, never forget to pay attention to what is most important to you in the present: family, friends, relationships, or just being young. Whatever that special thing might be for you may not always be there, and the hustle can wait.