The Toxic Reality of Rom-Coms
Why women want a extravagant love interest:
Does watching rom-coms fulfill the idea of romance and intimacy in your head every time you watch one? You probably aren’t the only one. Rom-coms can form a crave for passion and love for women. The true definition of a rom-com is a funny movie with a romantic journey tied together with a happy ending. Well, only sometimes; My Best Friend's Wedding may not have left watchers craving the love story between Julianne and Michael. Perhaps there is no doubt that society and movies encourage women to want a heartthrob love interest that seems too good to be true. This could be a man who will wait outside your window with a boombox, climb down fire escapes to win you back, give you the last glove at Bloomingdale’s during the holidays, and of course, show up at your front door with note cards expressing their love for you. Unfortunately, these moments only happen in our favorite romantic comedies unless you find a mystical golden ticket to romance. Since the early 2000s, romantic comedies have not held up romance expectations that are really realistic. Maybe being a wedding planner with 27 wedding guest dresses and meeting a stunning male reporter and falling in love despite hating each other maybe isn’t the most relatable or realistic, but a girl can dream! Watching men fight for the women they love in every romantic movie has possibly made women develop this false reality of romance. Or could it possibly be that romance is dead in this day and age? Who knows, but the unexpected love journey in popular rom coms like How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days, Serendipity, Say Anything, Love Actually, and Pretty Women are all undeniably magical.
The false reality of our favorite romantic comedies:
We might not think watching sappy romantic comedies could affect our concept of expectations between men and women. The hyper romantic reality of rom-coms impacts our perception of our relationships or, should I say, “situationships” in our lives. Personally, watching Matthew McConaghey's character do everything in his power to make Kate Hudson's character fall in love with him easily leaves someone in the room craving a need for a relationship. One could expect a few takeaways from a partner after indulging in a binge of romantic comedies. The first expectation is that men will change for you. Almost every woman dreams of transforming a grim man into the ultimate Greek god and perfect partner. Unfortunately, this is not reality; no one can change someone, especially a man who does not know what he wants. Another expectation is that men are mind readers and know what we wish without communicating our needs. In 10 Things I Hate About You, Kat and Patrick never confess their feelings for one another until the very end. Kat writes a poem in class listing all of the things she hates about Patrick after they broke their relationship off due to Patrick not telling Kat how he feels. Communication is necessary to move on and improve our relationships. Have you ever heard the saying, "if he wanted to, he would?". Well, this ties into the last takeaway, which is that all men will go out of their way to gain your love. Romantic gestures, intimate gifts, and flying across the states to ask you to marry him are all tactics we have seen in movies. You see, romantic comedies haven't just made women create a false reality about men in their heads; it has also put them on this pedestal of who should be the “romantic one” in a relationship. Although some women would like to agree that a man should make the first move to be a romantic companion, women can too. In the movies, men don't want to be vulnerable and confess their feelings. Well, vulnerability must take place for romance because how else can your crush convey their feelings to you?
Continue writing in your secret love journal:
We can wish for our dream man, love story, wedding dress, and perfect family. But, it will not always be what we see on the big screen. Romantic comedies have created a somewhat unrealistic scenario: a boy will knock at our door with flowers, gifts, and a homemade CD with all our favorite songs including the entire soundtrack of La La Land. This genre of movies might have affected our relationships without even knowing it. The plot lines and exaggerated endings of romantic comedies build a standard in our heads that real life relationships struggle to meet. It’s normal to fall out of love, find yourself, and move on, but romantic comedies have equated this concept with failure. Despite this inaccuracy, love happens out of nowhere and when you least expect it. Stop looking and let love find you; he isn’t going to be chasing you through the airport!
Written by Camryn Bacon, Photography: Peri Shaink, Graphic Design: Jade Sung, Social Media: Sheyla Hidalgo, London Marchman