Nowadays, it seems that burnt-out is the new black.

It has become all too common to hear people boasting about their overly busy schedules and wearing sleepless nights around their necks like a gold medal. We are surrounded by a culture that is always on the go, always on. Social media celebrates and encourages the ‘hustle’; college students such as ourselves are expected to go to class full-time, work a job (or two, or three), be involved in clubs and organizations, and still maintain some semblance of a social life. These are the types of things we constantly see being documented online, but no one ever talks about what happens when you finally get home at the end of the day feeling defeated and exhausted, with no time left for yourself to recharge and only mere hours left until you have to wake up and do it all over again.

One of the biggest issues here that so many people have yet to wrap their heads around is the fact that hustle culture implies that external factors will provide us with internal validation. It’s been drilled into our heads since we were young that things like getting good grades, getting into an exceptional university, landing a great job, etc. are ultimately what will lead us to happiness and success—but happiness comes from within, not from accomplishing a set of milestones and/or achievements put in place for us by societal expectations. Happiness comes from having and maintaining a healthy relationship with your own physical and mental being—something you absolutely cannot achieve by spending all of your days pouring yourself into endless obligations only to return home at night as a shell of who you were when you woke up that same morning. 

It’s okay (and important) to give yourself a break. It’s okay to say no sometimes and not have any good reason to do so aside from the fact that you just need some time for yourself. It’s okay to admit to yourself when you’re feeling tired, stressed, worried, unsure, or all of the above. You’re the only you you’ve got for the rest of your life and that is a fact that should not be taken lightly. If you continuously lose yourself in your school, your work, and other obligations, there will be nothing left at the end of the day. These external things may validate you for some time, but they will not truly fulfill you if at your core you are burnt-out and not treating yourself with the care and respect that you deserve.

Learn to slow down. As hard as it may be to accept, the majority of things are never as pressing or dire as we make them out to be in our heads. The world will not come crashing down if you go to bed a little earlier one night, decide to take the time to cook for yourself instead of getting takeout for the fifth day in a row or take a study break to read some more of that book that has been calling your name or watch an episode of the series you’ve been dying to finish on Netflix. Even if it’s in the smallest of ways, remember to always show yourself love and treat your body and mind with care because without them, you wouldn’t be able to do all of the things you are putting on your plate to begin with.

We have to stop comparing our lives and our accomplishments to those of our friends, people we know or people we see online. You know yourself better than anyone else and only you know how much you can handle and how much you are willing to sacrifice—no one else can decide that for you and no job, organization, school assignment or other external factors can force you to push those boundaries. Listen to your mind and body and know when it’s time for a break, and don’t ever feel ashamed or less than because you decided to do so. Find the sense of empowerment that comes with being able to know your limits and having the ability to put yourself first. After all, you deserve to be a little selfish (yes, selfish—that word can have a positive connotation too).

Put just bluntly enough to act as the reality-check you didn’t know you needed, read these words from Corey J. Miles, an assistant professor at Morgan State University, and keep reading them over and over until the idea is solidified in your mind.

“Given the culture of academia is organized around overworking and productivity, we are only comfortable resting after we get exhausted. Rest is not a reward. It is a mandatory part of life that shouldn’t be conditional. We have to prioritize ourselves better.”