Surprise, surprise, it’s getting chilly again so you know what that means. Yep! It’s officially cuffing season. Everywhere you look, there are new couples around, holding hands, holding each other tightly as if they’re the only ones that exist. Some of us prefer to look away in envy, but others seem to look at them with a longing to find a particular person who looks at them as if they were the world. With the holiday season coming up, it’s so easy to fall into the rabbit hole of desiring companionship. Someone to watch the first fall of snow with, to build gingerbread houses that nobody eats with, and to share steaming hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows floating on top.

Gamophobia, otherwise known as a fear of commitment, is a fear that some of us have unfortunately fallen victim to. The idea that a long term relationship isn’t for everyone is perfectly alright. The majority of today’s society seems to focus their attention on finding their “perfect person.” This common ideology that some have adopted automatically shies away from any person who is any less than the standards we hold our future significant other to. The fatal flaw of this idea is nobody is right for anyone. To put it simply, what makes a person “right” for you is a relationship, or commitment. When you put yourself in a position where you’re fully committed to each other, you allow for real and deep conversation. You allow each other to impact one another and shape yourselves into a relationship. You’re no longer rigid and stationary but are moved by each other. Nobody outright comes in a perfect cookie cutter shape that’s made just for you.

Of course, another factor that feeds this phenomenon is that some of us simply just don’t want to give up the single life. When you’re single you get to have little rendezvouses with strangers from bars, swipe left and right with your friends, and do anything you want without the constraints of committing to a partner. The feeling of being chained down scares some because that would mean our freedom has been taken away. Having to give up this freedom means a lot. It means that this person must be so incredibly special to you for you to even consider the idea of giving up such freedom. Maybe that’s something worth celebrating instead of dreading.

This also leads into another reason why one might be afraid of committing to a long term relationship: loss of their independence. A lot of people have spent much time dedicated to building who they are right now. Making progress in self improvement can mean someone simply doesn't want to give up all of that progress for a mere relationship. However, that’s just not the truth. A truly healthy relationship allows you to freely express who you are, regardless of where you’re at. It’s about two whole people coming together to create something beautiful. An actual relationship is never about giving a part of yourself up just to accommodate your partner; that’s just toxic. Love is about feeling at home. Creating a healthy environment is where you can have your independence and also meet your partner’s needs at the same time.

Written by Kadence Cheang, Photography: Mackenzie Palmer, Graphic Design: Morgan Tran, Social Media: Emma Mcminn

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