Most of us are all too familiar with our inner critic. You know, that little voice in your head policing your tiny mistakes, constantly reminding you of your faults or telling you “you’re not good enough.” Although some days it's louder than others, those negative thoughts are constantly taking a toll on our mental health and don’t belong in our lives. It’s time we silence our inner-critics and reclaim our power. 

Recognize

            There’s a difference between holding yourself accountable and punishing yourself. Policing ourselves can happen before we even realize it! It’s almost like second nature to us. The first step in silencing our inner-critics is to recognize the critic itself. There are many ways to do this effectively. First, try to be aware of every time you are too hard on yourself. Once you realize how often you police yourself, you can then make a conscious decision to reroute your thinking. Second, try giving that negative voice a name like “Robot” or “Shego” for example. By naming the self-shaming voice, you are separating that negativity from yourself. It’s easy to believe the destructive influence is just an aspect of you, but we were not born with this natural self-criticism. We have developed a certain criterion for ourselves throughout our lives. 

 Retaliate

Once you have recognized and separated yourself from your critic, you can then fight back. Take hold of the negative things you are thinking about yourself and remember that they are lies. Making a “C” on your midterm doesn’t mean you aren’t a good student, having a fight with your sibling (especially during quarantine) doesn’t make you a bad sister, and looking differently than an Insta-model doesn’t make you unattractive. Stop the speech once it enters your mind and shut it down. Once you stop falling for those lies, you can begin to replace them.

Revive

Now that we’ve recognized and retaliated our negative thoughts, it’s time to replace them with a helpful voice. Your conscience should be an ally and a friend. Change your voice from:

“You made a bad grade, you’re stupid and inadequate”

to 

“You tried your best and that is enough. You will continue to work hard and try your best.”

You are then left with a completely different perspective and positive feelings towards yourself. With so much uncertainty in this world, it’s important to be able to rely on ourselves. Let’s stop punishing ourselves for being human. From now on, we give ourselves love and grace.

Photo courtesy of Hannah Busing via Unsplash